Holy Moly Mother of Chaos: exploring relationships between female hormones and creativity / Antonia Grove (2022)

This autoethnographic and qualitative research study explores the experiences of women arts practitioners, their personal and performative relationships with gender, the consequences of hormonal uncertainty, and the subsequent feelings of disorientation and connections with felt power. A selection of UK based artists provided intimate testimonies about their experiences navigating female sex hormones and discordant biological systems in relation to energy, capability, and confidence in their working life. It interrogates the effects these experiences have, or have had, on creative processes, presentational work and career trajectories, and the subsequent application of anarchic or risk-taking approaches. This study analyses transcripts from conversations with these women and my resulting solo performance piece, in relation to feminist philosophies and social, political theories concerning power, ideas of femininity, complexities around gender identity, and the weight our bodies and their experiences carry in life and in performance. My findings are not confined to arts practice but recognise a universal need for the balance of masculine and feminine principles, and greater appreciation for how powers like empathy, fluidity and softness are essential qualities in society.